No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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