I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
ugly people sure do ruin things
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
