Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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