Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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