I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
