But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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