I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Let's get the cat blown out
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
