Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
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