no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
