yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
