my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
