I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
