doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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