I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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