I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
