end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
