So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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