Duck Duck Cougar?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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