U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
