I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
