Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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