where am i from again
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
