she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Randomize
