Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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