college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
