wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
