I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
A+ Viking dick
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
