Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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