rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
