five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
