just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize