Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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