I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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