I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
