There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
