nut hugger
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
