I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
