so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
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