yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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