Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
