Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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