My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
