im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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