My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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