I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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