I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
