Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
