Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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