i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
you had me at cake vodka
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
