this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
She bit a glass in half.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize