wat bout pragnant strippers??
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
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i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
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Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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