she was so not down for the gang bang
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
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