Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
