Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
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