like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
