just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
tell me about the eggs
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize